Lost
by xXxRomionelovexXx
Summary: Ron and Hermone both, regrettably, go their separate ways, but will they be able to resolve their problems and differences and find their way back to each other?
1. You Are Not Alone

**Disclaimer: Unfortunately, i am not brilliant or clever enough to come up with anything even remotely as good as Harry Potter... soo... it all belongs to the queen herself: J.K Rowling. **

**So, this is my idea for a Romione story. I think it's gonna be pretty long but i'm not sure exactly how many chapters. Please review and let me know what you think of it, whether you like or dislike it, all would be appreciated! :) Well, here we go: **

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_4th February 2001_

Hermione had never been the same since the war. Sure, it had affected everyone but there was just something not right about her. For one, he hadn't seen her smile in 3 years. A smile that reached her eyes anyway. They were a couple now but he felt a distance between them that he had never felt before, including the many arguments they used to get into, as tedious as they were. They hardly ever bickered anymore. They hardly did anything.

Ronald Weasley was walking home from work when these familiar thoughts yet again penetrated his brain. Even though he could easily apparate, he felt like he needed to think things over. He was feeling pretty stupid about it now as it was raining but at the same time, it was slightly refreshing.

Things had been hard, since Harry defeated Voldemort 3 years ago. The deaths were unbearable to deal with, especially Freds and sometimes Ron wondered how he and his family got through without him. He couldn't even bare to imagine how George must be feeling...

But, Hermione... she wasn't the same Hermione that he and Harry knew. She'd grown more tired; it was as if she'd given up. The war was over, but he supposed the grief was just too much to handle.

By this time Ron had gotten to his road and apparated into the living room of the flat that he and Hermione shared. He was surprised to see the that the very girl he had been thinking so intently about was sitting on the sofa. This was strange as she was usually in bed by now. The slight popping sound from his apparition made her aware of his presence and she jumped, letting out a quick gasp and hurriedly wiped the tears from her eyes; failing to disguise the fact that she'd been crying.

"Oh, Ron..h-how was your day?" She whispered

He slowly made his way towards her and leant against the sofa, for lack of anything better to do.

"Err.. alright, I guess. Yourself?"

He noticed her swallow, nervously and then answer "Not too great, if I'm honest" with a shaky voice. This was her exact answer to the same question every single day and even though Ron would normally comfort her as best he could, he was fed up with this routine. He had had enough.

Sighing greatly, he looked right into her beautiful brown eyes and said in a strong and determined voice, "Look, Hermione. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. All you do is mope around! It's been 3 years for gods sake! Don't you think it's time to move on?!

Unfortunately, this needed to be said, he needed to know what was going on inside her mind! If he didn't say it now, he would never say it and then where would their relationship be? Although, as Ron was thinking this, he noticed Hermiones eyes narrow and her face burning a dangerous red. He instantly regretted it. There was nothing worse than an angry Hermione.

He started to back away slowly from the murderous look in her eyes when she suddenly jumped up and screamed:

"DO YOU NOT THINK I'VE BEEN TRYING?! DO YOU THINK THAT I LIKE THE WAY I AM RIGHT NOW?! I'M MISERABLE AND I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU, RONALD WEASLEY, BUT I DON'T FIND IT VERY FUN!"

Guilt washed over him as he registered all she had just said. The only thing he wanted to do was apologize and forget about the whole matter but he knew that it must be addressed, and it must be addressed now.

"But why?.. Why are you miserable? I-I don't understand.." He began weakly. "I mean, I've been trying.. trying to help. But you don't... I just.." He inwardly sighed as the words just wouldn't come out of his mouth! Pulling himself together, he said. "I just wish you'd talk to me Hermione. I can't do anything if you don't talk to me"

He gathered that she wasn't in the mood to calmly discuss the subject.

"YOU DON'T WANT TO LISTEN!" She shouted, hysterically whilst desperately pulling at her hair with her hands.. "NOBODY CARES".

The crazy look in her eyes and the mad stomping of her foot forced Ron to become quite scared for her. Desperate for her to cool off he stepped towards her again, slowly edging forward with his arms out in a comforting position.

"Look, 'Mione, you need to calm down, ok? You're not making any sense, of course we care" He tried to sooth her by stroking her arms softly but she violently threw him off and screamed:

"DON'T TELL ME TO CALM DOWN RONALD WEASLEY! YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT IT'S LIKE!"

The last thing Ron remembered, In that moment, was rage lapping at the inside of his body like red, hot flames. Before he knew It he was yelling back with equal force.

"THEN TELL ME FOR MERLINS SAKE! WHAT DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO?! I THOUGHT WE WERE HELPING EACH OTHER! I MEAN, WITH F-FRED GONE, WE-WE'RE GETTING THROUGH THIS!"

She didn't soften at his outburst but exploded back with full force:

"YES, THAT'S ALL FINE AND DANDY FOR YOU, YOU HAVE EVERYONE! YOUR PARENTS, BILL, FLEUR, CHARLIE, PERCY, GEORGE, ANGELINA, GINNY, BECAUSE THEY ARE YOUR FAMILY! WHO DO I HAVE, RON?! MY PARENTS DIED. IN THE WAR, BECAUSE OF VOLDEMORT. I HAVE NO FAMILY!" Her voice faltered at this and she laughed bitterly "It's funny because now i know exactly how Harry feels, or felt."

The anger he felt for her words was unbelievable! How dare she say that she had no-one!? Everyone who was there for him was, unconditionally, there for her too. How, how could she not know that?!

The emotions he felt were too much for his body to take. Anger, Depression, Pity, Hopelessness, Devastation...Love. The only thing he could do was sink to the ground, shaking and sobbing, in pure frustration and defeat.

He knelt on the floor, punching it with all the strength he could muster until the pain was too much to take. He was sure he had broken his hand.

Hermione was still standing in the exact same position watching him, stiffly. She fixed his hand with a quick flourish of her wand and then all of a sudden, fresh tears began streaming down her face and she also, sank down but onto the sofa, and curled herself up into a ball whilst sobbing her heart out. Rons eye softened as he watched the women he loved with everything he had, break down uncontrollably right before his eyes. All the anger and frustration left him and was quickly replaced with an overwhelming sympathy. He raised himself up, walked towards her and slowly sank down onto the couch next to her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her close for a good long while as they both cried together.

"You've got to understand, that there are always gonna be people here for you to talk to. Everyone who you mentioned, they're all there for you too. Please, please understand that" He begged softly. She sniffed but didn't say anything.

After a few minutes she heard, out of the blue, a strange and unexpected soft tune reaching her ears:

"_You are not alone_

_I am there with you" _

Ron was singing softly in her ear. She had never heard him sing before and she curiously looked up at him with tear filled eyes. He could feel the tips of his ears going red but he ignored his pride and smiled comfortingly at her as he continued singing from his heart; words he truly meant.

_"And we'll get lost together_

_until the light comes pouring through_

_Cause when you feel like you're done_

_and the darkness has won_

_babe, you're not lo-o-o-o-o-ost_

_when your worlds crashing down_

_and you cannot bare the thought_

_i said, babe your not lost.."_

For the first time in years, he saw a small smile playing on her lips and happiness filling her eyes. His heart filled with love for the women, now resting her head on his chest. He saw this as a sign to continue..

"_Life can show no mercy_

_and it can tear your soul apart_

_it can make you feel like you've gone crazy_

_but your not_

_things have seemed to change_

_there's one thing that's still the same_

_in my heart you have remained_

_and we can fly, fly, fly awa-a-a-a-a-ay"_

Ron noticed how she glanced out of the window, as if hoping they actually could fly away. Fly far away from here, from this cruel, merciless world to a place where there were no problems and discomfort. A place where only happiness existed. Ron wished the same, but unfortunately, life was not that easy.

"_You are not alone_

_I am there with you_

_And we'll get lost together_

_until the light comes pouring through_

_Cause when you feel like you're done_

_and the darkness has won_

_babe, you're not lo-o-o-o-o-ost_

_when your worlds crashing down_

_and you cannot bare the cro-o-oss_

_I said, baby your not lost.."_

He could hear Hermiones light breathing and knew at once that she was asleep. He smiled lovingly down at her uncommonly peaceful face, treasuring the moment when she could sleep with no nightmares or worries. He knew that this would not last but he took comfort in the fact that he had at least made her feel better for today. He slowly go up, careful not to disturb her, and carried her into the bedroom, bridal style. And in that moment, he knew that he was supposed to be with Hermione Granger for the rest of his life.

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**Authors Note ~ The singing was just a one off, i thought it was cute and i know the last bit is a bit cheesy but oh well xD I hope you like it and please please review and let me know what you think! P.s I do not own the song, it belongs to Michael Buble.. :) xx**


	2. The strange reunion

**So, i've decided to carry on with the story because i have a pretty good idea of what i'll do. Thank you to the couple of people who have Favorited/followed it even though i've only posted 1 chapter. It means alot! I plan to update it every week, no later. Except if i'm really really busy. Hope you like it!**

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_10th November 2002_

How had it come to this? How had Ronald Weasley, _the_ Ronald Weasley, legendary war hero, member of the golden trio and he who aided Harry Potter in defeating the darkest wizard of all time, transform into the dirty, pathetic, miserable man sitting in a deafeningly silenced, rundown bar in the middle of Rimini, Italy. Yes, Italy.

He'd been there for well over a year now, although to him it seemed liked 10 years had passed. Nothing ever changed. The days he lived were full of nothing, besides the drinking and sleeping. He was like a robot, living his life from day to day. There was only one person who could make him like this. She was his source of happiness, his ball of light and yet she was the one who was breaking his heart more and more every second of his monotonous existence. Of course, it wasn't her fault. He was the one who had left her. He couldn't stand the air of misery; the idea of suffocating from every ounce of pain that radiated off of every surface he encountered. He had to get out, and get out he did.

The rain pounded against the bar window, as Ron mulled over his daily thoughts, feeling sorry for himself. Life was getting harder, day by day and he didn't think he could take it anymore.

"Care for another drink Mr Weasley?"

Ron snapped out of his stupor as the old and frail bartender croaked in his ear. Ron, automatically answered

"Another fir-"

"I think, Ronald has had quite enough"

He was interrupted by an all too familiar voice that, unfortunately, dropped his spirits even lower, causing him to feel not on ounce of physical or emotional strength left in his body.

Isabella. Ahh Isabella. Yet another of his childish mistakes. In the past year and 10 months that he had been in Italy, he needed some form of comfort. And, well... he'd met Isabella about a month into his stay at Rimini. She was pretty, with black hair, dark blue eyes and intriguing red lips. Her body was a dream and she was willing. Very willing, so Ron at first, weakened and gave in to her seductive glances and comments. Although, it didn't bring him comfort, it just made him feel even worse about himself and he only continued to sleep with her because he did not have the strength and will power to turn her down.

Now, she was here and he really couldn't be bothered to fight with her.

"How about i take you home" She said, then added quietly in his ear

"And we'll have some fun"

Ron could not understand what she saw in him, how she found him so attractive. He hadn't shaved in over a year, he hadn't had a proper wash in weeks and his breath was most likely putrid from the numerous occasions of alcohol intake.

But, alas she came to him every so often and it seemed that today was one of those days where she wasn't just talking to him or casually snooping through his things at home. Today was one of those days where she clearly hadn't had any in some time and resorted to the safer option of the broken and disheveled Ronald Weasley.

She gripped his arm and then the next thing he knew they were standing in her, rather large, flat and she was desperately pulling away his robes with pure lust in her eyes.

He didn't have the energy for this, not today. Not ever. He didn't want to do this.

She started guiding him towards the bedroom, and seeing that he wasn't doing anything, started to remove her clothes along the way.

At this moment some part of Ron suddenly cracked and he pushed her away from him. She stumbled, with a look of shock on her face. Ron was ashamed to say that there were tears in his eyes as he mumbled "I can't do this anymore, just please leave me alone" and ran out of the flat, down the stairs and into the night.

He could have apparated but he wouldn't know where to go and he just wanted to run. Run and get away. Get away from everything. He fled down the still, relatively busy streets desperate for some privacy. Noticing a dark, grimy alleyway he sped towards it and once he reached it, ran down it with all of the speed he could muster. He didn't notice the bin bags halfway down and roughly tripped over them, banging his head hard on the stone floor.

He fought to stay conscious as the rain poured over his bloody face, but then realized that he didn't want to. His eyes closed as he gave up the fight and let himself sink into sweet, uneventful oblivion.

Little did he know, it wouldn't be as uneventful as he thought.

* * *

Ron was lying down feeling.. pretty good actually. He didn't feel the cold or the pain, instead there was an air of content around him which made him want to lie there forever without being disturbed, wherever he was. But, he had to open his eyes at some point and better sooner than later. So he did and as soon as they were open, a bright, white light filled them up which caused him to shield his face with his hands for fear of being blinded.

Once he got used to this strange, yet peaceful light, he sat up and took in the area around him. At first it just seemed like he was sitting in a huge cloud, as all he could see was the color white but then he started to notice that it looked, weirdly, like the garden of the burrow but with non of the usual vibrant colors. He felt like he was sitting on grass and he thought he could see the apple trees in the distance, on the little hill that was used to play Quidditch and the chicken coop to his left. Although, the house itself was no-where in sight.

Ron didn't have much time to ponder on this new setting, as he saw a figure emerging from the vast white, in the distance. The silhouette of a person, Ron thought, was slowly making it's way towards him until soon enough he could see the facial features and clothing of the person he knew so well.

"FRED!?" He cried jumping up suddenly and staring at his "dead" brother, with his mouth wide open and eyes full of shock.

"Long time no see Ronniekins" Fred grinned with an air of the same old humor that he used to possess.

Ron intently drank in the image of him, his familiar layed back appearance of messy red hair, a cheeky freckled face which was the exact replica of his brother George and casual, yet bright clothing which complimented his personality greatly. He never thought he would see his much loved brother again and now here he was standing in front of him as if he had never left the world. If this even was the world.

"Fred! What? Well, aren't you-?"

"Dead? Yup. Sadly so, sadly so little bro. Hey that rhymed! Haha. Anyway, what, did you just think that dead people stay in the ground with the disgusting insects and depressing visits of moping, mourning people? No, thanks"

"Well, no, but" Ron didn't know what to say. Here he had a chance to speak to Fred. Fred! He would probably never get this opportunity again but yet here he was gawping at him like a gormless fish, speechless.

"If i'm honest, there's not much to do. I did try a bit of haunting but it's virtually impossible for me to get back into the 'human' world now. I chose my path. Sorta regret it now but there you go" He shrugged, but continued "Now that i think about it, i could have annoyed you senseless for the rest of your life!"

Here a great smile spread across his face, obviously delighted at the thought of causing his youngest brother discomfort, and thus Ron found his voice.

"Oi, you git!" he said, laughing nervously

"So, how you been won-won?"

Ron shuddered at the sickening nickname, but replied

"Not great, but i guess, compared to you, i can't really complain."

"Charming, Ronald, charming... Hahahaha i sounded so much like Hermione there"

Ron, who had noticed this, stopped dead and then stared at the ground.

"Right, Hermione..." He mumbled, as his ears turned red.

Fred, having lived with his brother for 17 years knew by the color of his ears, this was an extremely uncomfortable topic to talk about.  
Oh well, things had to be done. After all, that was probably why they were here. Time for some mushy, heart felt advice, it seemed.

"Look Ron, i know what's happened"

Ron was surprised to hear that Fred was actually being serious for once.

"You, do?"

"Of course i bloody do. You think that merlin just randomly sent me here to have a jolly good chinwag? Doesn't work like that i'm afraid little bro, places like these" Here he gestured around them "Are for special cases" Fred said whilst leaning into Ron, humour once again apparent on his face.

"For big brothers to advise their little brothers on how to not be Nob-heads. What are you playing at?! You've been in bleedin' Italy for over a year, doing crap all!"

"Yeah Fred, i am aware of that you know"

"Well then, explain to me why."

"It's, it's complicated, alright"

"No, actually Ron, it's not. It's what you do. When times get hard, you do a runner. You bail. For Merlins sake Ron, i thought you loved the girl!"

"Of course i do.. i love her with all my heart. I just couldn't bare to see her like that, breaking and just a hollow shell, when i could do absolutely nothing about it. You don't understand how much it hurt, Fred" Tears glistened in Rons eyes as he stared at his brother, hurt etched all over his face.

Fred softened his tone as he could plainly see how much pain Ron was in.

"Maybe i don't, but aren't i right in thinking that everything would have been better if you had just stayed with her. Things probably haven't gotten any better, it was pretty selfish really."

"I know.. but what can i do?"

"Well, for starters, you're standing here talking to your dead brother when you could be at home with the actual living members of your family, making up for how much of a prick you've been"

Ron actually managed a snigger.

"I guess i could start there then. So er... what happens now? Do you just vanish in a puff of smoke or something?

"Ooh i've got more style than that little bro, although the puff of smoke sounds pretty cool!"

Fred gave yet another cheeky grin, snapped his fingers and thus a puff of smoke appeared behind him.

Ron failed to be surprised, as Fred began speaking again

"Well this is it Ronniekins. It's been a nice, short and too the point chat, but i must be off. Duty calls, duty calls. I just want you to remember that there's not always gonna be someone there next to you for the rest of your life guiding you through it. George learned that the hard way, apparently so did Hermione"

Ron flinched but Fred ignored him. "Now you know i'm not the sentimental type. Tell everyone i'm fine and to quit moping around 'cuz evidently life's too short and we could all do with some laughs" Then, he proceeded to moonwalk into the cloud of smoke, vanishing instantly.

Ron stood there by himself, glancing around and just as he was awkwardly wondering what he should do now, the atmosphere changed drastically and he saw the scene shift and the whiteness disappear.

The next thing he knew he was back lying in the dank alleyway, soaked to the skin with a throbbing pain in his head.

But that didn't matter anymore...

He was going home.

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**So.. i know i haven't explained the circumstance as to how Ron left, as the last chapter ended on a relatively happy note but i will don't worry. All in good time ;) What i really really need are reviews because i have no idea if people will like this story or not so please please review and tell me what you think! :) ~ RomioneLove**


	3. Haunted Memories

**I just want to say thank you to PrimroseEverdeen for your review. It means alot! Let me know how you think the story's going! :D**

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_11th November 2002_

It was the following morning and Ron was back at his flat, showered, shaved and officially sobered up. His bags were packed and the portkey was set up to go to London in an hour. He was ready. But yet, he wasn't ready.

He knew that it must be done but he was not looking forward to seeing the livid faces of the Weasleys once he got back. Bill and George would probably go to the extremes of actually beating him up. Come to think of it.. his mom and Ginny would probably go to the extremes of beating him up...

Ron shuddered at the thought. Ginny was still rather good at those bat bogey hexes and, come to think of it, much worse..

He grinned to himself as he leant against the wall of his flat but that grin soon faded. Looking around him, he didn't get that warm, safe feeling that you're supposed to get when you look around your home. The walls were bare, he hadn't bothered to decorate. There was hardly any furniture, he didn't really need it as he spent most of his time at the bar or in bed. Also, his clothes were strewn all over the floor which did make the place look a little more lived in, if you're feeling in a positive mood. But really, it was a dump.

He'd lived there for ages now, but it still didn't feel like home to him. Maybe it's because his family and loved ones were no-where near him and that he still felt lost in the city of Rimini. After all, he hadn't got up to much exploring in the time that he'd been there. Well, he hadn't even been further than the local bar, to be honest. He did not feel the need and nothing in this place was even remotely interesting.

Why had he even come to Italy in the first place?

Oh yeah... She used to talk about it all the time.

He never saw the fascination in the place himself, but it was the first place that popped into his mind when..well.. he bailed.

That's just great. His thoughts always seemed to lead to Hermione sooner or later, no matter what he started off thinking about.

Who was he kidding? She was all he thought about! As expected of course, their parting did cause a huge disruption in his life and probably hers too.

He always tried to keep his mind off it, but every time he failed miserably. Quidditch failed, His family failed, His work failed, Harry failed. Hell, even Isabella failed, and that girl was _hot_.

He knew it was silly to think that he could escape it, but he was scared. Scared of facing up to it. Scared of not being able to help Hermione in her darkest time. He felt like he'd failed her and before, he didn't have the strength to pick up the pieces of his mistakes.

He remembered the day he left as clearly as he remembered Hermiones face. It haunted him every second of every day and he could not get rid of it. Even when using a pensieve, the thought of it lingered on in his mind like a ghost and though he didn't have to remember the actual event, he still knew that he had left.

It started off with just a normal gathering in the three broomsticks with him, Hermione, Harry and Ginny.

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_9th February 2001_

_"Errggghh, get me a firewhiskey. Now."_

_Ginny groaned as she slumped down on the seat opposite Hermione, next to Harry. Ron immediately motioned to Janet, the bartender, to get the drink as soon as possible otherwise they would all have to suffer the wrath of the exhausted red headed women._

_They'd all decided to go for a drink at the three broomsticks, to give them all a chance to catch up. Unfortunately, Ginnys quidditch training was very demanding and so she was tired and grumpy almost every evening except for Sundays which was her day off. She had only agreed to join them in the first place with a little persuasion from Harry which Ron didn't really want to know the full details for._

_"Still training good and hard Gin?" He asked as he sipped his drink._

_She glared at him icily and snapped "You don't know the half of it Weasley"_

_"Erm, helloo. Former keeper on the gryffindor quidditch team here! This guy" - He motioned to Harry, who looked sheepish -" worked us nearly to death. For days i had to keep ice on my-"_

_But he was interrupted by a painful slap on the head. He turned to Hermione, his face in a scowl._

_"What d'ja do that for?!" _

_She just stared at him, stonily before replying:_

_"There are some things better left unsaid, Ronald"_

_Ron sat back moodily in his chair whereas Ginny looked as if Christmas had come early. _

_"Oh come on Ron! That was in the school team, i'm in the Holyhead Harpies! I have to work 10 times harder than you had to! It kills to sit on a broom for 8 hours straight every day"_

_But her mood had lifted considerably since the affliction of pain on her older brother._

_Harry noticed the bitterness in Rons expression and thought it best to chance the subject. So they kept up idle chit chat of things such as George and Angelinas wedding last October and the upcoming birthday of Bill and Fleurs daughter, Victoire, in may. As it may be apparent, they were running out of the things to talk about until,_

_"Hey have you heard about that new assignment that we're meant to be getting soon, Harry?" Said Ron as he suddenly remembered his previous conversation with the head of the auror department. After school he and Harry had both been offered jobs at the ministry as aurors without having to complete their N.E. . Harry had been offered the top job available which was a stage lower than the head of the department, but he had declined the offer. He said that he wanted a little bit of peace and didn't feel up to the stress of the job. It was only natural that Harry got offered the job and Ron accepted this with full support. However, once Harry declined, they offered the job to him and he was thrilled. He accepted and had been working hard at it ever since. _

_"Oh yeah, Franco told me. It's meant to be pretty serious"_

_Here he turned to Ginny and Hermione and started to explain.._

_"We're not really meant to say, so don't breath a word to anyone, but there's been quite a few strange attacks lately around London"_

_Ginny suddenly perked up and looked at him with wide eyes._

_"They know that it's not the work of muggles because there's been loads of incidences with the killing curse but also, many people have gone missing. Men, women, i think about 20 people have disappeared in the last week."_

_Ginny gasped and covered her mouth with her hands, "I had no idea, there's been nothing in the daily prophet about this!" She exclaimed_

_"Well, the ministry's trying to keep it all hushed up" Explained Ron, with a sigh. "They suspect it's the work of remaining death eaters and they don't want the public to get all worked up about it before we can find out what's really going on."_

_"Yeah" Continued Harry "and they feel that we should start up the order of the phoenix again and plan some form of action if it does turn out to be death eaters. But first, Franco, you know, the head of the auror department?" Ginny and Hermione nodded "Well he's sending us all off to inspect the missing peoples homes more carefully and search them room to room to make sure nobody's missed anything, which Rons in charge of." _

_"A little tedious isn't it?" Asked Ginny_

_"A little, but it needs to be done. we don't have any more leads. I mean, majority of the death eaters are in Azkaban now and those who aren't, are going to be questioned but other than that we have no reason to suspect them really. I can tell this is going to be stressful." Explained Ron._

_Harry agreed and took quite a few gulps of his firewhiskey which ended up in him coughing and spluttering with Ginny thumping on his back to try to help._

_While this was going on Ron turned to Hermione and noticed that she had gone deathly pale and was fidgeting with her hands; something she only did when she was nervous or guilty. She had hardly spoke all evening but she hadn't spoken at all since they starting talking about work. Just as he was about to question her on this she stood up abruptly and said_

_"Erm, i think i'll just go home now. I'm pretty tired"_

_Ginny stopped hitting Harry on the back and looked up at her questioningly_

_"But it's only 8 o'clock.."_

_"I know but its been a long day and.. i just want to go home is all. I'll talk to you all later" Grabbing her coat, she ran outside before anyone could get another word in._

_Ron was extremely worried about her but Harry persuaded him that it was probably nothing to worry about and Ginny backed him up by saying she was probably just "On her period". After this, Ron preferred not question it any further and ordered another drink. _

* * *

_He'd spent a long time at the 'sticks, longer than he had expected. It was late and he'd had a few too many drinks, but he was happy. He expected Hermione to be asleep when he got back so he tried to be as quiet as he could, but when he looked in the bedroom, the bed was empty. Undisturbed. He checked around the whole flat and called her name several times but she was nowhere to be seen. It was 1 o'clock in the morning, where was she?! _

_He was starting to get seriously worried as he checked the bedroom again in desperation, but then he heard a crashing sound in the study. Their flat was pretty big with a few bedrooms, a living room, 2 bathrooms, a dining room and a little hallway off the living room with the study and a cupboard at the end of it. He hurriedly pulled out his wand and crept silently but quickly to the study door which was ajar. He peeped in and saw Hermione crouched on the floor, a broken vase next to her. He relaxed considerably but then noticed that silent tears were pouring down her face and he wondered why she was so upset about a broken vase.._

_That's when he noticed the blood. A small puddle of blood underneath her but he couldn't identify where it was coming from. He noticed bruises on her face and his initial reaction was to rush in to her and hold her in his arms but a part of him refused. He had remained terrified about his distance with Hermione but had shoved it to the back of his mind. This scene in front of him forced it to resurface and he felt paralyzed with fear. He knew that she would not be responsive. She wouldn't explain how this had happened to her. He'd noticed strange bruises on her before but she'd brushed them off, saying that she'd fallen over. He knew she was lying._

_He suddenly felt small and claustrophobic like he was in a little ignorant bubble. He had to get out. He had to get now, he couldn't stay here any longer. Not now, not when his presence was not helping and probably only making things worse._

_So he left. He rushed to the bedroom, grabbed a few vital possessions and apparated away. _

A decision that he would regret for the rest of his life.

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**What do people think about Rons reason for leaving? Do you think it was realistic? ~ xXxRomioneLovexXx**


	4. The Perfect Day

**I just want to say thank you to the people who have ****Favorited and followed this story, it means alot! I also want to thank Courtneydoe for your reviews!**

**Review 1: Haha thank you! **

**Review 2: I've taken your advice on board, it is pretty logical to put dates. I don't know why i didn't think of it before xD So, i've been through and added the dates and will in the future. I was a little unsure about my representation of Fred but i'm glad you liked it! Yes, it was a spur of the moment type of thing!**

**Review 3: Yes, i know it doesn't seem so realistic but i imagine that the war really affected Ron in alot of ways including Freds death and the misery it caused everyone. He was desperate for things to be the way they were and he was losing the only person he could really turn to. Baring in mind she has been distant from him since the war. He couldn't deal with it anymore because he didn't think things would get better and his old insecurities crept up on him. he no longer felt he was good enough for Hermione and he thought that him being there was just making things worse. He had some time to think and grew up a little over that time. **

**Anyway, no, he didn't work in Italy because he had a high paid job at the ministry. He used money from that and i figured that, as he was a war hero and defeated Voldemort, he was paid a large sum of money as a reward...? He just used alot of that for the drink and bits of food. Yes, he quit his job. The disappearances have happened in the space of a week and the ministry is trying to cover them up but they won't be able to for long.**

**Thanks very much for your reviews and opinions, they were very much appreciated and made my day! I hope you carry on reading the story and continue to tell me what you think! :D x ~ xXxRomioneLovexXx**

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Ron had sunk down to the floor in tears and miserably started banging his head against the wall. Why, why, why did he ever leave her? What possibly possessed him to leave something so beautiful, yet so broken, to struggle on with life by herself, deal with the pain and suffering by herself.

The pain was welcome, he felt he deserved it. He had never let the reality of what he had done take over him like that before. He had numbed it out and even though it was horrendous to come to terms with it, he felt a little better. He knew that it was the biggest mistake of his life.

Back then, he was weak. He didn't want to solve any problems that came his way, he'd had enough. But, he realized now that that was selfish and now he was ready.

He was going home. Home to try and work through his problems as best he could. To help everyone as best he could. To just do what he could.

This thought comforted Ron. He wiped his face clean, stood up and pushed his unbearable guilt to the back of his mind for now. He looked at his watch, he still had half an hour left so he decided to let image of Hermione envelop him. He knew it would do him no good but he just needed to feel prepared to see her, to go back to her.

So he stood there for a while mulling over what he would say and how he would handle things. But before he could prevent it, his brain took him back to the only thing that brought him real happiness. He was drifting into the glorious daydream that, before, he had tried so hard to avoid. Today, he welcomed it with open arms and sank into the peaceful heaven that was his hidden memory.

* * *

_5th February 2001_

_Sunlight poured in through the windows as Ron opened his eyes. He felt sleepy, comfy and positively euphoric as he remembered the events of last night. Hermione had finally opened up to him and he felt, or rather, dared to hope, that maybe things would be different from now on. _

_He smiled to himself as he felt her small, warm body pressed up against him. He turned to face her and gently moved her hair away from her face, so he could have a clear view of her beauty. She was still asleep and he could hear her soft breathing tickle his neck. She was so incredibly cute when she slept and Ron couldn't help but kiss her nose which, inevitably, woke her up. She stirred and opened her eyes slowly, due to the mass of daylight filling up the room._

_His heart started to beat at a fast pace; she never failed to make him feel like this, even after all of these years. He always seemed to feel like a 15 year old boy again, with the same crush, when he was with her. A lot of people say that you eventually fall out of love with someone over time..._

_Bullshit._

_He would never, ever fall out of love with Hermione. She was his life, his whole world. He couldn't imagine a day without her. Even though it seemed impossible to love her more than he did, he reckoned that he fell deeper in love with her every day. _

_"Hey, that was pretty good" Thought Ron, to himself. _

_He was never really a romantic,. It seems only Hermione brought that out in him. He decided that later he would note down his thoughts about her, because they would probably come in handy at some point.._

_Maybe even for a proposal.._

_Before he could delve deeper into this enticing idea, he was brought back to reality by Hermiones tinkling laugh, which floated through the air like a gorgeous melody._

_She was staring at him, humor present on every inch of her face. Her mouth stretched in a loving smile as she intently observed her distracted boyfriend._

_"Up in the clouds i see"_

_He grinned as she looked up at him, fondly._

_"I guess you could say that" _

_"Funny because I'm almost certain you woke me up in a very endearing way, and yet you seemed to forget about that quick enough" She said in mock anger but she evidently couldn't suppress the cheeky grin that again, crept up her face._

_He inwardly laughed at the irony of this statement._

_He decided that the best way to respond to that was not through talking so he leant in and kissed her ever so softly on the lips and whispered "Morning" _

_She contently sighed and whispered back to him "Good morning" and smiled happily._

_They lay there for a while just absorbing the sight of each other and listening to the morning birds tweeting joyfully, like they had no care in the world. Reflecting, on both Ron and Hermiones feelings a this precise moment. _

_Finally, after what felt like hours but was actually only about 20 minutes, Ron stretched out, sat up, turned back to Hermione and said "So, what do you want to do today?" _

_"Sorry? Don't you have work?" She said, curiously._

_"Nah, booked the day off a while ago. So, we've got the whole day to do whatever you want" _

_"Whatever I want? What about what you want?"_

_"I wanna make this day special for you. So, what do you want to do?"_

_Hermione wanted to press the matter but then supposed that it was probably because of her strange attitude lately that he wanted to make her happy. She was grateful, but didn't think it necessary. Although, as she looked upon his eager face she decided to let him have it his way._

_"Erm.. well, as it's such a nice day, we could just go for a walk"_

_He knew her well enough now to know that Hermione preferred simple activities and didn't like anything too extravagant. Admittedly, it did sound a little dull to him but it was true, the weather was nice and he could do with a little more exercise. Anything for Hermione._

_"Sure, sounds good"_

_They were ready to go in half an hour and proceeded to apparate straight to a random bit of countryside in Scotland. They started their walk up a particularly steep hill (much to Rons displeasure) and even though it was rather tiring, the view at the top made it worth the effort. _

_The hill rose up over the surroundings so the pair could see for miles. The sun shone on the bright green grass of the fields and reflected off the water of a small lake, down to their right, making the surface sparkle beautifully in the morning light. A slight breeze in the warm air caused the flowers and grass to sway slightly. Here, Ron glanced sideways at Hermione as they stood there drinking in the picturesque view in front of them. He could tell by the awe in her face that she adored it, every bit of it, and he felt the same. Luckily, he brought his camera with him; he wanted to remember this day for the rest of his life._

_Ron crept back slowly and focused his camera as best he could on the dazzling scenery before him. Hermione obviously had to be in it, she was in the left hand side standing there, oblivious to what he was doing; with her hair blowing in the wind. She never really liked being in photographs so he would have to do it without her permission. He got ready to press the button and then called her name. As soon as she turned around and her face was in view, he clicked the button and took the picture. A picture that he would admire for years to come._

* * *

He had been so happy, so content. They'd stayed on that hill for hours, just enjoying being in each others company. He loved just watching her. Naturally, they kept up conversation but Ron could have just stayed watching her in silence for hours. She was perfect and the best part was that she was his.

Although not anymore.

This thought caused tears to well up in his eyes yet again and he couldn't suppress the need to do what he had wanted to do for a long time, but had stopped himself. He knew it would bring him comfort but then the pain would be worse afterwards. Today though, he would make an exception.

Ron rushed into his bedroom, which was half empty but still had some stuff in which he thought he would come back for at a later date. He opened the wardrobe and delved deep into it to find a certain box. It was small and wooden and in it, he kept his most prized possessions. After fumbling around in it for a few seconds, he found what he was looking for.

The photograph.

The photograph of the enchanting hillside, where he had spend hours with Hermione that day. That perfect day. He stared intently at her bewildered expression, as she noticed he had a camera, and how it transformed into a smile as she shook her head at him in amusement.  
He watched it replay again and again for several minutes but eventually returned it to his wooden box; which he put in his bag, to take home immediately.

It was his most favorite picture because it was a reminder of that perfect day. Even though it had only been that one day, he was grateful for it because he could look back on it whenever he wanted and this would give him hope that someday, in the future, he could get that day again. Someday, he may be able to feel that same feeling of pure happiness but for a whole lot longer.

It was time to go. Ron edged towards the portkey on the coffee table (A closed umbrella) and held it in his hands. In a few seconds it glowed blue and he vanished along with it.

Someday, maybe he could find peace with the world again...

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**How did you think the flashback was? Please review and tell me what you think! ~ xXxRomioneLovexXx **


	5. Home Sweet Home

** Ok, so this is going to be a relatively short and uneventful chapter but it needs to be done. This and the next chapter were originally meant to be one but i thought it would be too long so i split them up. I just want to say thank you to a good friend of mine called Jake who gave me the confidence to write this story! :D Hope you enjoy.. **

Nerves shook him as he stared up at his old childhood home. It usually welcomed him with open arms and he gladly entered to see his beloved family but today it was different. It looked intimidating to him. He knew that inside, were the people whom he had deserted in a selfish bid of freedom. The scary thing was, he didn't know how they were going to react.

Ron took a deep breath and started hesitantly, to make his way up to the front door. When he reached it he strained his ears to make out any sort of movement from the inside but there was nothing.

He didn't feel right to just walk in, so he lightly tapped the door. After a couple of seconds he sighed at himself, and properly knocked the door with his knuckles to make a sound that could actually be heard by a human being.

It was now around 7 o'clock in the evening and was already dark out. He had wandered around aimlessly all day, trying to think of what he would say when he got here. He thought of nothing.

Gradually, he heard the pitter -patter of slippers coming down the hall towards the door, which started to open as a voice called out:

"Harry, how many times do i have to tell you, you don't have to knock, ju-"

But here, Molly Weasley stopped dead as she took in the image of her youngest son. It took her a few seconds to register the whole situation but when it had sunk in, she cried out in joy and rushed forward pulling him into a big bear hug. Tears were streaming down her face as she held him close, never wanting to let him go.

Ron returned the hug with equal enthusiasm as he smiled sadly into his mothers shoulder. He felt extraordinary guilt bubbling up inside of him and he didn't know how to handle it.

All of a sudden his mum pulled out of the hug and slapped him round the face. Hard.

"Where have you been?!"

Ron, shocked, mumbled:

"Err, i don't, it's hard to explain"

He awkwardly stared at the ground, too ashamed to look his mother in the face.

She sighed, gripped his arm and pulled him inside. She continued to steer him towards the kitchen and pushed him onto a chair. He couldn't see or hear anyone else about which was quite unusual for the burrow, although expected. All of his siblings had now moved out into their own homes now. They did frequently come to visit but not this late.

Thank Merlin! He didn't want to face everyone else just yet.

Ron dropped his face to his hands with a sigh of despair and waited patiently for his mother to start talking. He heard nothing except the kettle beginning the boil. After a couple of minutes a mug was placed in front of him and he was aware of his mother taking the seat opposite him. Still, she said nothing.

Ron thought this was strange. Didn't she want to know where he had been? Why he had left? How he was? They sat there in silence for a good few minutes until Ron finally raised his head up and looked his mother directly in the eyes. What he saw broke his heart.

Her bright blue eyes were filled with excruciating pain and tears slowly poured down her face as she observed her son. Clearly devastated. He didn't mean to make her hurt like this. He now realized just how much he had put his mother through. The death of Fred was enough to throw her off the edge let alone finding her youngest son gone. Of course, he had left a note to explain that he was ok, but she still had no idea if he actually was that. Ok.

A fresh surge of respect, love and guilt for his mother, developed inside of him. She was such a strong women, such an excellent mother. She had had so much to deal with over these years, but yet here she was. Still here, looking at him from across the kitchen table with eyes of agony.

There was nothing left to do but explain.

They spent many hours that night, pouring their hearts out to each other; trying to understand each others suffering and pain. Ron explained most of what had happened in Italy and Molly informed him of everything that had been happening at home. She also attempted to advise him of what to do now, for his future but Ron had already figured that out, to a certain extent. She smiled at how much her son had grew up since she had last seen him. He was certainly taller, had more hair but he was filled with determination to change his life around for the better and for this, she was proud.

During those heart-felt hours and special new bond was made between them, as mother and son and for the first time since Ron got back, he was genuinely happy to be home.

* * *

_12th November 2002_

It was early the following morning and Ron made his way down the stairs towards the kitchen for breakfast. He had obviously slept in his old bedroom; in his now, too small bed. His room was exactly as he left it. Walls filled with Chudley Canon posters, floor strewn with old clothes and comics and school books scattered around, randomly. It was the same vibrant orange which clashed horribly with his hair. But it was familiar, it was home. And he loved it.

He adored the familiar smells of cut grass and baking bread, the humorous sight of 'Weasleys Wizard Wheezes' products littered about the house and the general family atmosphere that began to warm his chilled soul.

Ron didn't know whether his mother had informed the rest of the family of his return so he didn't know what to expect as he approached the living room door but he took a deep breath and entered. It was empty. He knew that he would have to speak to them, and soon but he couldn't help the sigh of relief that escaped his mouth.

He trudged into the also deserted kitchen and started preparing his own breakfast. Ten minutes later found him at the table with a plate of bacon and eggs and a cup of coffee in front of him.

He needed to start on his plan to build up his life again. Today, would be the day that he found a job. He would start back at the auror department and see if he could get another job there, or even his old one back. If not, he would probably just have to work at Weasley's Wizard Wheezes with George, but it was better than nothing.

Even though it was ridiculously early in the morning, Ron thought it best to be off soon. Then he could spend the whole day out. He cleaned up his dishes (Something very unlike himself) and left the kitchen; into the living room, but stopped dead before he had a chance to even think about writing a note to his parents explaining his absence for the day.

There was George, sitting in one of the squashy armchairs; reading the paper. He didn't seem to even acknowledge Rons presence and carried on reading, whistling light-heartedly.

Ron stood there glued to the spot, not being able to comprehend the situation. George knew he was there, he wasn't blind. Why was he ignoring him? Was he mad?

"Wouldn't put it past him" thought Ron.

After a minute of contemplating whether he should just leave or stay, Ron cleared his throat loudly, deciding to make his presence known.

George abruptly stopped whistling at the sound and glanced up at his younger brother.

"Oh, Ron. Make me a cuppa will ya?"

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**I'll update the next chapter soon! :D **


	6. Determination

**I've edited the last chapter so he doesn't want to go to Diagon alley, he wantes to find a job first. Just wanted to clear that up to prevent any confusion. Takes place on the same day. Hope you like! **

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George, always the joker.

He had, in fact, been sincerely glad to see his brother back, but also disappointed in him. Of course, he had to make that little joke, it was who he was. But he couldn't help but feel let down by Ron. He was supposed to be there for them. Support them. Not do a bloody runner.

The two of them spoke for a few minutes. Ron explained how very sorry he was and that he understood how much he had let the family down and was determined to make up for it some way or another and to turn his own life around. He felt that he owed George an explanation and he couldn't bare the thought of his favorite brother feeling let down.

George couldn't help but grin at Ron's determination. Maybe he had changed. After a moments hesitation and quick thinking, he decided to give him chance and playfully clapped him on the back, but still demanded his morning cup of tea.

* * *

"Come on, Franco! Please!"

"Why should I, Weasley? What makes you so special, Hmm?"

"You know I was your best auror besides Harry, and I really need this chance! I understand that I let you down, but i'm ready and prepared to take up any position that is on offer"

Franco sat at his desk, writing furiously on a piece of parchment, hardly taking any notice of Ron's pleas to take up his previous job. As far as Ron knew, he was wasting his time, but he had to try. He just had to.

"There's opening" Said Franco, as he carelessly placed the piece of parchment on a pile to his right and resumed his writing on another piece. All the while never lifting his head.

"My mum mentioned to me that the job that Harry's in is too much for him and he's considering quitting. I'll be up for that, if he does decide to resign" Ron was desperate. He needed this and this showed in his voice.

For the first time, Franco looked up from his paperwork; setting it to the side. He leant across the table and spoke clearly, looking Ron right in the eyes.

"Who says that i would give that job to you anyway? Why do you deserve it? Why not just give it to Watson, the one who's worked hard for it over these past few years" Then he added, harshly

"Which is more than i can say for you"

Watson...Watson...

Where had he heard that name before? ...

Watson..

Oh yeah!

She's that gorgeous muggle actress..

The one that looks the spitting image of Hermione.

Ron found himself lost in the image of Hermione for a few precious seconds before Franco's voice forced him back to reality.

"Wake up, Weasley! If you're not going to say anything else, please get the hell outta my office"

His stony glare forced words out of Ron's mouth:

"Err, Watson? Who's Watson?"

"What, you don't remember him? Started working here a few years back, just fetched coffee and stuff. Well, He's successfully worked his way up to my assistant. As far as i'm concerned, he's next for that job. Right little trouper he is. What makes you think that you're better than him?"

Ron's mind worked furiously to come up with a reason. He remembered Watson now, that little clumsy bloke who always dropped stuff and never made Ron's coffee right. How did he get so far in the space of 3 years? He was such an awkward little person.

"Because 'i'm much more capable than him! I know more, I'm more experienced and I'll be able to handle the pressure of leadership much better than him. Come on Franco, I need this!"

"Who's to say that you can be trusted? That you won't just up and leave like last time?"

"I swear to you that I won't. I'm turning my life around. All I can do is promise you that this job is important to me. I'll do anything. Lead any case you want me to, without protest."

"I hope that's true because your leaving caused a massive inconvenience, especially as that was a most important time. What with those disappearances and such"

Ron had completely forgotten about those. He never did find out what had actually happened.

"Oh. Erm, I'm really sorry about that. There was a lot on my mind but I'm not making excuses. I know my actions were terrible. So... what actually happened with that?"

Franco leant back in his seat and sighed deeply.

"Nothing. We never found out what happened. There were no more disappearances after you left and even though we had the victims houses searched thoroughly, we found no leads whatsoever. Whoever was doing it, is good. I mean good. Although, nothings happened since, so we haven't been able to do anything about it. We couldn't cover up the missing people and so there was a huge uproar. It's still stressful to this day"

He paused for a few seconds, watching Ron closely and thinking hard about something before finally adding:

"I guess we could find some use for you, Weasley"

The fresh wave of guilt that had washed over Ron was instantly replaced with hope and determination when he listened to that glorious last sentence.

"Yes, yes! You won't regret it, I promise! I'll work extra hard and do anything you ask!"

A small smile played on Franco's lips. He was quite fond of the determined redhead.

"Good. I'll be in touch about it"

Ron took this as a sign of dismissal, gave his final thanks and headed towards the door.

Just before he heard Franco's final, stern words:

"Just remember, though. One mistake, and you're out the door"

* * *

Ron's mood had lightened considerably now that he could actually have his job back and he walked with a spring in his step to the lift which would take him back to the Atrium. He never thought that he would actually achieve it. As he entered the lift, his thoughts drifted to the family gathering happening at the Burrow tonight. George briefly mentioned it earlier but didn't say much about it. Ron didn't know how many people would be there but he assumed pretty much everyone.

The lift doors opened and he proceeded to walk out into the Atrium. It was a busy Tuesday afternoon and the ministry was bustling with busy workers. It was just after 1 and Ron gathered that many people would be coming in from their lunch break. He scanned the room and spotted a few people he knew.

There was that Judah bloke; he was an unspeakable. That Dylan dude from the department of magical law enforcement and.. Hey! There was Marti from the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures, she was talking to...

Ron stopped dead in his tracks. His heart practically stopped beating as he found himself staring into those oh so familiar deep brown eyes of Hermione Granger. How did he not anticipate this?! He knew that she was here, in England. He knew that she was friends with his family. He knew that she worked at the ministry. He knew that he would bump into her at some point. Hell, he planned to bump into her at some point!  
So why was this such a shock to him? Why had his body started shaking uncontrollably and eyes start leaking with tears? She was holding a stack of parchment in her hands as she chatted to her friend who was also a friend of Ron's; Marti Howell. Her hair falling out of a loose bun. She hadn't noticed that he was there which was as expected; he was quite a distance away but Ron guess that it would only be a matter of time. she could turn around at any moment and his tell tale mop of red hair would betray his presence in a matter of seconds.

He needed to move, fast.

However, just a Ron had took a couple of steps into his escape, he saw her turn and their eyes locked. He searched deeply for any sign of emotion but as far as he could see, they stayed blank. She stared at him as if he was just another person in the crowd. How? He was Ron. _Ron._  
After a couple more seconds of the unbearable pain of nonrecognition from Hermione, Ron noticed her turn away and continue her conversation with Marti. Just as if nothing had happened.

Ron couldn't believe his eyes. Was this really happening?

He sped into a fireplace and got out of there as fast as he could. He turned up back in the burrow but he didn't have any inclination to stay. He needed to gather his thoughts together and piece them up so that he could regain his sanity.

He apparated to the first place he thought of. This, incidentally, was the forest of dean. Since their hunt for the horcruxes, Ron had considered this a place of peace. A place to clear his mind and he had come here quite a lot in the years following the war. Although, he hadn't been there in a while.

As soon as Ron smelt the familiar scent of the trees, he felt safer and happier. He sank down next to a tree and pondered over this recent encounter.

Why had she reacted so plainly and coldly to his unexpected appearance?

_Simple, you disappeared from her life plainly and expectantly so why should she give you the satisfaction of an emotion filled reaction?_ His conscience told him.

_ A blank from the person you love. Nothing more than you deserve._

Ron knew that this was true, that he did deserve it but he wanted to do everything in his power to change that. He would not let this throw him off. The family get-together was in a couple of hours and he had to pull himself together to attend because attending was vital.

So, he picked himself up off the ground and apparated home to help with the preparations.

He was not going to run anymore.

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**So, what did you think about Hermione's reaction? What did you think about the whole chapter? Review and tell me please! :D ~ xXxRomioneLovexXx**


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